


Buried

by Nerd_of_Camelot



Series: Black Sheep [6]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Break Up, Jack Has Issues, Jack Needs a Hug, M/M, no but for real somebody come tell this man to properly express his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_of_Camelot/pseuds/Nerd_of_Camelot
Summary: “Jack,” Gabe began, and Jack was already worried about what he was going to say next. “What is this for you?”
Relationships: Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison
Series: Black Sheep [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608928
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Buried

“Jack,” Gabe began, and Jack was already worried about what he was going to say next. “What is this for you?”

The breath punched out of him immediately, heart thudding in his chest as his stomach twisted. He hated it. He hated that Gabe had to ask, but he understood  _ why _ he was asking. This had been going on for nearly a year―he  _ had _ to be curious.  _ Jack _ was curious.

He sucked in a breath, trying to steady himself. He could do this. This didn’t have to be hard.

He didn’t have to tell Gabriel the truth.

“What do you  _ want _ it to be for me?” Jack asked in reply, knowing he probably came off as unhelpful.

Gabe groaned in mild annoyance. “Don’t do that,” He grumbled, “Don’t make it about me when I’m asking about you.”

_ Worth a shot, _ Jack thought, and he sighed.

“It’s sex,” He admitted, and it wasn’t the whole truth, but it  _ was _ true. “Really good sex. With someone I trust with my life.”

_ Okay, getting too close to the rest of the truth, there, Jack. _ He told himself, trying not to visibly cringe.  _ Dial it back. _

But he didn’t have to―Gabe sighed before he got a chance, and he shut right up to listen to what he had to say.

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

If Jack’s stomach wasn’t already in knots, it would have been at that. He didn’t manage to avoid cringing, that time. He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed his hands into his jacket pockets.

_ Okay, okay. _ He told himself,  _ Pull it back. Get ready for the fallout. Don’t you dare cry. _

“Yeah?” He asked, and he didn’t swivel to look at Gabe like he was probably expected to.

Easier to seem detached when he wasn’t looking right into Gabe’s face, you know?

“Yeah.” Gabe replied, and it was resigned. “But… Thank you for being honest.”

“A’course, Gabe,” He said, more cheery than he really was, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

It got a laugh out of Gabe, thank fuck. It got him to chuckle a little―but the sound broke off into another resigned sound.

“I,” He hesitated, “I can’t do this, Jack.”

Despite the fact that he was fully expecting him to say that,  _ hearing _ it still suckerpunched him. Everything felt like too much,  _ too much _ and it was too sudden. He’d been  _ expecting _ this but he’d hoped he’d have more time. He’d hoped he could indulge a little longer. Maybe even indulge long enough that he was finally willing to admit his feelings…

But that was a no.

A hard no.

Yeah, this was fine.

“Okay,” He said, out loud―the picture of calm―as he finally looked over his shoulder at Gabe. The man looked… Wary, really. Tired, too. “Thank  _ you _ for being honest,” He continued, as he stood, “I’ll go then, okay?”

Gabe closed his eyes, and swallowed. “Yeah, okay.”

Jack paused, chewing his lip, “... Hey,” He probed gently, “I really do like you a lot, and I trust you with my life, like I said. I― I really don’t want us to go back to what we were before, but if that’s how it’s gonna be I just want you to know I had a blast getting to know you. I’m just not big on romance.”

That got Gabe to peek his eyes open to smile at him a little. “We don’t have to go back to not talking to each other unless there’s no one else,” He promised, “I really like you, too. I’d hate to lose that just ‘cuz I got too attached to do casual sex.”

Jack gave him a smile, and that was a relief at least.

He could deal with being friends with Gabe, even if he was going to be spending a whole lot of time being horny for a dick he could no longer get his hands on―but it was fine. It was _fine._ _Completely_ fine.

He’d gone like four years with nothing, he could do that again.

“See ya tomorrow, Gabe,” He shot him finger-guns.

Gabe laughed, looking almost a little bit relieved. “See ya, Jack.”

And Jack managed to hold himself together until he got back to his room, managed to act like everything was fine and he wasn’t hurt. Wasn’t upset.

He pulled a grey hoodie from the back of his chair―a hoodie he’d stolen from Gabe months ago.

Briefly, he considered returning it.

Instead, he curled up with it in bed and wished that it still smelled like him.

But after so long it didn’t smell anymore like Gabe than Jack’s own jacket did, and it was a hollow comfort to have it in his arms anyway. He could only imagine how much more it would have hurt if it  _ did _ still smell like him.

And part of his brain was kicking him, yelling, telling him it wasn’t too late to admit how he felt. That feeling like this was his own fault for not just telling Gabe the truth, and he still had a chance to do so. He still had a  _ chance _ with Gabe. He hadn’t fucked their relationship over  _ completely,  _ he could  _ still tell him. _

But he didn’t get out of bed, didn’t unbury his face from the soft gray fabric.

He wasn’t putting himself in that position.

Gabe  _ liking _ him and not wanting something casual didn’t mean they would  _ work. _ It didn’t mean he wouldn’t end up getting his feelings hurt. Vincent was a still too-recent example of  _ that. _ Three years of his life and so many emotions,  _ down the drain. _

He gathered up his love for Gabriel, gathered up his pain over the whole situation, and he spent the night forcing them down into the shoebox he’d buried in his own head. The shoebox where he put every feeling he didn’t want to deal with. Couldn’t deal with.

Everything he’d felt for Vincent was there, still raw and fresh because  _ no _ he hadn’t processed it. He hadn’t tried. He’d ignored it for four years and his heart had managed to move on where his mind hadn’t nonetheless. But the feelings were still  _ raw _ when he forced them back down along with what he felt for Gabe.

Everything in that box was still raw.

He buried it again and stuffed the hoodie into the bottom of his duffel bag under the rest of his clothes. Got dressed. Went to breakfast and acted like nothing was wrong.

He was good at that.


End file.
